When I left for my study abroad trip to Brazil on February 29th, I never could have imagined the state of the country I would return to. Over the course of those fifteen days, the virus that seemed so small shook the Earth to its core. When I returned to the states toilet paper was out of stock and hoarded as if a natural disaster was about to make landfall, all cleaning products had been bought from the shelves, medical masks had become the new fashion trend, and all of my graduate courses had been moved online for the remainder of the semester. I was in a state of confusion with unclear direction for the first week of self quarantining in my apartment alone. This resulted in many snacks and Netflix binges to pass the time.
After taking that week to just waddle in nothingness, I had to pull myself together and try to regain some sense of schedule. I knew that even though the world is an even stranger place than it normally is, I had tasks and work that still had to be completed. No longer being able to go to the gym or take movement classes, at home workouts and walks in the park have become necessary survival activities to get my endorphines pumping and not feel like a potato. I’ve contemplated getting a puppy, but that’s just my impulsiveness bubbling up. I’m still considering it tho. Getting accustomed to only virtual human contact has taken some getting used to. However, the weekly zoom happy hour calls with my cohort have made this quarantine time a lot more bearable. Being alone in my apartment has created a lot more time for me to think about my future plans when it comes to what happens after grad school? Is someone going to hire me? Will I have to work three jobs simultaneously? Can I live as a solo artist? Where will I live? Can I afford to move? All of these are great questions that usually fill me with anxiety, so I stop thinking about them all together. Saving those for another day and time.
I don’t really know what the purpose of this post was. Maybe just to write and reflect on these last 24 days. Or maybe to try and understand how I’ve been navigating this mental and physical minefield of quarantine. Either way, this is the most I’ve written since February 28th. I’m proud of myself, I should do this again sometime.